Why Suppressing Emotions Make You Weak

Everyone is vulnerable— the capacity to be wounded. It’s true that everyone has a different threshold for what hurts them, however often the word sensitive can get thrown around. 

Calling people sensitive because their capacity to be wounded is different to yours. But the thing is, those who do that don’t realize they’re sensitive too, they just have a different capacity.

Sensitivity is often framed as a bad thing or almost like it is used as an insult, and implies the person who is "sensitive" is wrong for feeling how they feel. In my opinion, the criticism of sensitivity is also a form of sensitivity, because how can you call someone sensitive while simultaneously being upset by that person's reaction to your actions and or behaviour? 

Sometimes they call this narcissistic behaviour, but that’s another thing— everyone is so quick to label everybody. There are lots of explanations for things but I find when it comes to narcissism, that word gets thrown around just as much as sensitive. 

To me, in most cases it is someone’s capacity to be wounded. Regarding emotions, some express, some feel and let it pass, and others suppress and or contain their emotions. With those that express, feel and let it pass, they are managing their emotions in a way that allows release, that doesn’t judge, and that doesn’t wound themselves further. 

However with those that suppress and contain, they don’t necessarily feel their emotions at all. Because they don’t allow themselves to feel their emotions.

They might feel them at first but then they push it down, or they feel it sometimes and then they intellectualize and frame them in a way that is most “logical” to them. 

Like a way for them to make sense of everything and wrap their mind around it all. 

But as someone who used to do this all the time, it only makes it worse. 

It just becomes this perpetual cycle of push, stuff, intellectualize, make sense of it, and it creates this massive hole in your heart. And for those who don’t have outlets, which most who suppress don’t or if they do it’s likely either some form of addiction, which is only doing more harm, or physical activity— which does definitely help. 

But this is where their capacity is sensitive. You can only meet people as far as they’ve met themselves, so when you touch that spot of theirs that causes them to feel, suddenly you’re the villain. Or suddenly anything you might’ve communicated is rendered as invalid, because the person’s capacity doesn’t know how to validate you without showing their vulnerability. 

So when I say suppressing emotions makes you weak, I don’t mean that you’re weak for suppressing them. Some are aware they suppress and others aren’t, and that’s okay.

But that capacity for being wounded is much larger, because there’s a lot more to lose.

You see, as someone who used to suppress all my emotions, it only made my ego larger, because when you don’t let yourself feel and someone holds up that mirror— it can sting. And further feel like you’re losing control over something you deeply protect. Composure. The concept that you’re stronger than you feel, that you can get through anything rather than be required to feel the pain you keep under lock and key. 

As a human, emotion is such a huge part of us. And so is empathy, allowing others to be where they are without feeling the need to judge, but let’s not confuse calling out hypocrisy with judgement. 

Yes, those who suppress might be great in high pressure situations, customer service, places where they have to use problem solving or critical thinking skills, yes they are amazing at those. Intellectualization might be useful in these contexts but is damaging for emotional processing.

Arguably, those that allow themselves to feel and express their emotions are great in the above scenarios as well— but they will need time to decompress afterwards. So yes they might have a harder time in the above contexts, but ultimately are still able to get through them. Just not unscathed. 

Most who do this have a strong intuition— so they are very aware of time and place, and know how to hold it in until it's safe to let it out. 

And you might be wondering what intuition has to do with this, but intuition is a tool we all have at our disposal. Intuition is being able to read people, energy, situations, and feel what is the best behaviour or action that fits a scenario. 

And when it comes to people who are more on the emotional side, because they allow themselves to feel so much and release the tension that stress or other situations may bring— they know themselves. 

Being connected to your emotions is so powerful— it is the key to knowing yourself as a person. To healthily and efficiently deal with hardships that life may bring.